Sunday, May 31, 2009

Repairs Gone Bad

Nothing like a sense of humor when it comes to wrecking your car. I stumbled past this looker coming out of a coffee shop. Don't be jealous.

Last I checked, when someone gets into an accident, you do anything possible to either A) fix it, or B) minimize the damage. I wonder if this is their idea of a temporary or permanent solution? Would you go through the lengths to write "Ouch!!!" with a sharpie if it was just a quick fix?

And why Ouch? Shouldn't it read: my driver is a dumb ass.

Nonetheless, I have to respect this positive outlook on life. While a wrecked front hood would have ruined my day - someone else is able to throw a band aid on it and order a cafe mocha. Nothing like a good caffeine high to take away the problems.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Shoney's Showdown

I'd like to offer a congratulations to all Shoney's restaurants for their innovative interior design techniques. More specifically, to the genius that came up with the low hanging lights. You know, the ones that blindside you out of nowhere. The ones you have to spend your time dodging and ducking while trying to make it safely to your table.

Pictured here, my brother-in-law actually did manage to clobber his head 4 times in just under 40 minutes on these lights. While this photo only captures the pre-bashing fiasco, trust me - it was good. (I'm actually surprised he made it through the meal without a concussion.)

Having recently eaten breakfast here, I can only deduce that this is some sick kind of game. Perhaps the employees are secretly laughing in the back. I can see them placing the bets now. While these silly games could be fun (at least if you've had a couple mimosas to start), I would wager this restaurant has successfully managed to injure droves of customers with this witty idea of interior design.

Go home Shoney's. Go home.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Midgets and Beer

Sometimes in life you come across something so special that you just have to stop and take a picture. (Admittedly, for me this seems to be the norm and not the exception.) Casin point: Midgets Lounge.

I happened upon this lovely establishment on my way home from Panama City. I truly don't know what that says about Tallahassee, Panama City or the dark places in between - but I'm guessing it isn't good.

So, what happened to the politically correct term "little people?" Are these the angry midgets that aim to defy these so-called small rules? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to venture in. And no, it wasn't because I'm over five foot - rather the doors were locked. But it did beg the question, would I be allowed in? Better yet, do you think they have high-top tables inside?

I'd personally like to shake hands with the owner of this place. It's a bold move. Attention-grabbing to say the least. After all, I drove by Midgets Lounge with my jaw on the floor. Turned around and went back for a picture. Next time I'm hoping for a nice tall beer.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Near-Naked Biker Update

Some may remember by earlier blog post about the speedo-wearing, pavement-pounding biker that has become legend in Tallahassee. Others are still trying to forget it.

Well today, I feel it only appropriate to give a near-naked update. While it's been over seven months since my original post, I proudly inform that this brave biker continues to roam the streets - unaffected by the cop calls and requests to have him detained for indecent exposure. I've seen him strut his stuff in all sorts of elements - albeit frigid winter weather or rain. His determination is truly something to be reckoned with.

For those who are left wondering what this man is like in action - look no further. I am pleased to share video footage for your viewing pleasure. (Compliments of my crazy co-workers Kristin and Rodney to whom I offer many thanks.) While this video will undoubtedly leave you wanting more, I still consider it a gem.

It's not every day that you get to experience something this....memorable?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Big Guy. Little Bike.

There are some things in life I just don't understand. One of which.....why on earth would a guy this big want to ride a bike that small? I am told it's the "new thing." But really, how does the bike support all that man?

It looks like the hardware is gonna cave at any moment - sending this dear rider (and friend) into a near asphalt-bound experience. The up side? I guess he wouldn't have far to fall.

Is it just me, or does this look like a circus trick? I can hear the creepy music playing in the background.

I must say, I'm impressed at his alarming flexibility. It isn't easy to have your knees hiked that high into your chest. Almost un-natural. And to think that people drop a couple grand for these mini-motorcycles. I'd much prefer alternate modes of transportation. You know, ones that are comfortable. That won't leave me cramping up once I've arrived.

Perhaps I've reached the point where I just can't wrap my head around what's "cool" anymore. Am I that far gone? At least friends can still humor me with their meek attempts to fit in. Ha.

Thanks for the video Dave....

Monday, February 16, 2009

Seeing Double

Is there a new potty-sharing trend that I'm not aware of? On a recent road trip, I happened upon a gas station bathroom which defied all logic. Two toilets. No wall. Double the fun - in the restroom? I don't think so.

To be clear, this was not a family restroom. All signs indicated that I was in a ladies-only facility. So the question remains....why?

A construction project gone wrong? Horrible practical joke?

At this point in time, I don't think women are prepared to sit and sing kumbaya while taking care of business. Although, perhaps this jarring concept would significantly cut down on those ridiculously long wait times. What takes ladies so long anyhow?

Nevertheless - I chose to fly solo in this double porcelain. Bathroom sharing is something I intend on leaving to the guys.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Highway Lounging Anyone?

On my way through Gainesville, I experienced what can only be described as....hick-tastic. At first glance, it appeared that the items protruding from the back of this vehicle were furniture.
Common enough. Perhaps someone was moving?

But no, this assumption would be incorrect. Logical. Safe. Non-hick-tastic.

Look closely. What you're witnessing here is 'highway lounging' at its best. Yes, two guys just hanging out - reclining - in the cargo area. These road-goers are comfortable. Relaxed. Carefree. All this, despite the minor detail that their lounge chairs are in the back of a Chevy....on the interstate. I wonder if they have a rabbit-eared television setup inside.

The ease with which these gents move about the highway is stunning. After all - what's to worry about? Car crash you say? Please. They'd fly right out of the back with grace and effortlessness. Probably.

One thing is certain - their hick-tastic highway-going creativity revved my engines! Ride on road warriors. Ride on.