KellyEntersThe21stCentury

Repairs Gone Bad

2009-05-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

Nothing like a sense of humor when it comes to wrecking your car. I stumbled past this looker coming out of a coffee shop. Don't be jealous.

Last I checked, when someone gets into an accident, you do anything possible to either A) fix it, or B) minimize the damage. I wonder if this is their idea of a temporary or permanent solution? Would you go through the lengths to write "Ouch!!!" with a sharpie if it was just a quick fix?

And why Ouch? Shouldn't it read: my driver is a dumb ass.

Nonetheless, I have to respect this positive outlook on life. While a wrecked front hood would have ruined my day - someone else is able to throw a band aid on it and order a cafe mocha. Nothing like a good caffeine high to take away the problems.

Shoney's Showdown

2009-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'd like to offer a congratulations to all Shoney's restaurants for their innovative interior design techniques. More specifically, to the genius that came up with the low hanging lights. You know, the ones that blindside you out of nowhere. The ones you have to spend your time dodging and ducking while trying to make it safely to your table.

Pictured here, my brother-in-law actually did manage to clobber his head 4 times in just under 40 minutes on these lights. While this photo only captures the pre-bashing fiasco, trust me - it was good. (I'm actually surprised he made it through the meal without a concussion.)

Having recently eaten breakfast here, I can only deduce that this is some sick kind of game. Perhaps the employees are secretly laughing in the back. I can see them placing the bets now. While these silly games could be fun (at least if you've had a couple mimosas to start), I would wager this restaurant has successfully managed to injure droves of customers with this witty idea of interior design.

Go home Shoney's. Go home.

Midgets and Beer

2009-05-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life you come across something so special that you just have to stop and take a picture. (Admittedly, for me this seems to be the norm and not the exception.) Casin point: Midgets Lounge.

I happened upon this lovely establishment on my way home from Panama City. I truly don't know what that says about Tallahassee, Panama City or the dark places in between - but I'm guessing it isn't good.

So, what happened to the politically correct term "little people?" Are these the angry midgets that aim to defy these so-called small rules? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to venture in. And no, it wasn't because I'm over five foot - rather the doors were locked. But it did beg the question, would I be allowed in? Better yet, do you think they have high-top tables inside?

I'd personally like to shake hands with the owner of this place. It's a bold move. Attention-grabbing to say the least. After all, I drove by Midgets Lounge with my jaw on the floor. Turned around and went back for a picture. Next time I'm hoping for a nice tall beer.

Near-Naked Biker Update

2009-04-23T09:47:00.001-07:00

Some may remember by earlier blog post about the speedo-wearing, pavement-pounding biker that has become legend in Tallahassee. Others are still trying to forget it.

Well today, I feel it only appropriate to give a near-naked update. While it's been over seven months since my original post, I proudly inform that this brave biker continues to roam the streets - unaffected by the cop calls and requests to have him detained for indecent exposure. I've seen him strut his stuff in all sorts of elements - albeit frigid winter weather or rain. His determination is truly something to be reckoned with.

For those who are left wondering what this man is like in action - look no further. I am pleased to share video footage for your viewing pleasure. (Compliments of my crazy co-workers Kristin and Rodney to whom I offer many thanks.) While this video will undoubtedly leave you wanting more, I still consider it a gem.

It's not every day that you get to experience something this....memorable?

Big Guy. Little Bike.

2009-03-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life I just don't understand. One of which.....why on earth would a guy this big want to ride a bike that small? I am told it's the "new thing." But really, how does the bike support all that man?

It looks like the hardware is gonna cave at any moment - sending this dear rider (and friend) into a near asphalt-bound experience. The up side? I guess he wouldn't have far to fall.

Is it just me, or does this look like a circus trick? I can hear the creepy music playing in the background.

I must say, I'm impressed at his alarming flexibility. It isn't easy to have your knees hiked that high into your chest. Almost un-natural. And to think that people drop a couple grand for these mini-motorcycles. I'd much prefer alternate modes of transportation. You know, ones that are comfortable. That won't leave me cramping up once I've arrived.

Perhaps I've reached the point where I just can't wrap my head around what's "cool" anymore. Am I that far gone? At least friends can still humor me with their meek attempts to fit in. Ha.

Thanks for the video Dave....

Seeing Double

2009-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

Is there a new potty-sharing trend that I'm not aware of? On a recent road trip, I happened upon a gas station bathroom which defied all logic. Two toilets. No wall. Double the fun - in the restroom? I don't think so.

To be clear, this was not a family restroom. All signs indicated that I was in a ladies-only facility. So the question remains....why?

A construction project gone wrong? Horrible practical joke?

At this point in time, I don't think women are prepared to sit and sing kumbaya while taking care of business. Although, perhaps this jarring concept would significantly cut down on those ridiculously long wait times. What takes ladies so long anyhow?

Nevertheless - I chose to fly solo in this double porcelain. Bathroom sharing is something I intend on leaving to the guys.

Highway Lounging Anyone?

2009-02-10T05:45:00.000-08:00

On my way through Gainesville, I experienced what can only be described as....hick-tastic. At first glance, it appeared that the items protruding from the back of this vehicle were furniture. Common enough. Perhaps someone was moving?

But no, this assumption would be incorrect. Logical. Safe. Non-hick-tastic.

Look closely. What you're witnessing here is 'highway lounging' at its best. Yes, two guys just hanging out - reclining - in the cargo area. These road-goers are comfortable. Relaxed. Carefree. All this, despite the minor detail that their lounge chairs are in the back of a Chevy....on the interstate. I wonder if they have a rabbit-eared television setup inside.

The ease with which these gents move about the highway is stunning. After all - what's to worry about? Car crash you say? Please. They'd fly right out of the back with grace and effortlessness. Probably.

One thing is certain - their hick-tastic highway-going creativity revved my engines! Ride on road warriors. Ride on.

WARNING...

2009-01-29T19:30:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this man? He is most commonly known as...the blog stalker. Although in some circles, legend has it he's referred to as "lone-family-member blogosphere quitter." Last seen lurking the web for blogs not updated according to his taste and frequency, many consider him dangerous. Armed with his computer and a passion for regulating the free-typing world, his antics are coming under much scrutiny.

Be warned, this monster has an insatiable hunger for new material and will stop at nothing to get it. Except of course....draft his own.

Boy Band Bonanza

2009-01-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

It's not often in life that you get to experience the launch of a new boy band. Particularly one that specializes in lip-syncing and completely mind-blowing dance routines. I feel honored to have personally witnessed this spectacular boy band bonanza. The skill, artistry and sheer talent demonstrated by this trio has left me speechless for days. Alright, minutes. Fine - seconds to be exact.

This funky, hip-slinging group can only be described as.....inspiring. I hope to one day achieve in a lifetime what they have conquered in this single routine.

Free tickets to anyone that wants in. What - no takers? Don't get left in the boy band dust. They'll shimmy, shake and glam their way to the top. Justin Timberlake beware.

More Front Yard Goodness...

2008-11-26T23:59:00.000-08:00

The front yards in Tallahassee continue to amaze me. We of course had the "whale yard" which I critiqued back in July. And I'm almost ashamed to admit that the spectacular display seen above was recently erected in my own neighborhood. (After which the Home Owners Association created a litany of rules about what one can and cannot do in their front yards). Astonishing.

Why you many ask? Is it not normal for a homeowner to recreate a pond/woodsy/hobbit scene for all to admire?

I was thinking about walking over and hopping in the pond for a quick swim after work one day. Maybe I'll set up tent and go fishing on a Saturday afternoon. Or perhaps get in some riffle practice - that deer looks enticing. After all, why create such goodness if it can't be enjoyed?

Who needs several acres of land when you can fit an entire forest scene into one pint-sized front yard? Damn the economy - we have innovation.

Beer: Not Just For Old Geezers

2008-10-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

I continue to espouse that Tallahassee is home to many strange occurrences. And the day I met this fine young 2 year old was no different. Seems this spry fellow has quite an affinity for beer. No, we're not talking root beer. Rather, a good ole' fashioned alcoholic beverage that will get this little one tanked.

You might be thinking....no way, he's not actually drinking. For those skeptics - let me simply say, yes. Yes he was. Actually, I am told that he really likes the taste of beer. (I think this is apparent.) That's comforting. A mini-alcoholic in the making.

I can see the ad campaign now:
(Insert beer company) For the young-at-heart....and the young.

Aussie Goes Overboard?

2008-09-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

For those that haven't seen the new Aussie hair care commercial - feast your eyes on this. Go ahead. Watch it.

Actually, the first 10 seconds is all you'll need. Perhaps then you'll share in my sentiments as I scratch my head saying.......WTF?!? Where in the heck did that Aussie bottle pop out from? Please tell me it wasn't the poop shoot. Is it really necessary for a bottle of anything to be shooting out of anywhere? How in the world does this make the product more enticing?

I think it's confirmed. This commercial will actually make me stay away from the product. And by stay away....I mean run in the opposite direction.

Kelly + Aussie = Opposites that won't attract

The Terror....

2008-09-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

Strange things have been happening lately in Tallahassee. Exhibit A: the shirtless speedo-wearing biker that roams the city streets with no apparent final destination. (You can thank my co-worker Kristin for hastily swerving off the road and nearly killing us to get this picture.)

If our behavior isn't example enough, let me say that this exhibitionist is becoming quite the celebrity around town. Traumatizing residents with his aimless hours of half-naked riding. It's about the journey, not the destination......right?

Where is he going? I want to know. I need to know.

Mr. skin-bearing biker is gaining so much notoriety, perhaps our agency should consider loading him up with a url for exposure. A traveling billboard at its best?

If nothing else, this brave biker deserves a little credit for pulling off some clothing necessities. No - not literally pulling off pieces of clothing you would consider a necessity. But braving new fashion trends. Tube socks, head band and a gold-plated necklace. A word of warning before you hit the catwalk: it's not every day that someone rocks a look like this with the style and pizazz of Mr. skin himself.

Tacos and Chocolate?

2008-09-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Some things in life just seem to "fit." Peanut butter and Jelly. Red beans and Rice. Mac and Cheese. Even a Wendy's Frosty and French Fries (although that might be stretching it a bit for some).

But what about tacos and chocolate? (Don't throw up just yet.) A good friend recently introduced me to the infamous "Choco Taco."

As, I am quickly schooled in the oddly flavored world of the Choco Taco, I learn that the "taco" is actually all for looks. No ground beef and Tabasco sauce found in this treat my compadres. It's 100% ice cream. Apparently people like devouring a delectable dessert shaped like something they may have just had for dinner?

I'd personally like to meet the genius that thought the concept of mixing chocolate and tacos would be a big money maker. Perhaps that's the reason it took us five convenient stores to effectively locate and one and only: Choco Taco. (Although as you can tell from the picture - it seems the wild goose chase was well worth it - considering it curbed the 'ever so hard to satisfy' taco shaped addiction.)

Perhaps these chocolate loving taco eaters are all that's needed to keep the trend alive. I feel like you all deserve medals or something of the sort. Eat on Choco Taco lovers, eat on.

London Logo Fiasco

2008-08-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

With only days left in the Beijing Olympic games, I thought it appropriate to take a look at what our next summer games would bring us. Yes, for those that aren't aware - we'll be battling it out in the good ole' U of K. London to be exact.

While the games themselves always prove to sufficiently entertain, I can't say that the actual Olympic logo itself ever causes a stir. Until now.

I present the 2012 London Olympic logo fiasco. Quick review of the facts:

London swallows an $800,000 bill for the mark.
Opposers say it resembles a swastika and looks like graffiti — two things London is not about and should not aspire to.
An animated web version caused a reported 10 epileptic seizures.

You just can't make this kind of stuff up! It's branding gold.

As of now, it seems London officials are showing no signs of altering the look. As one London newspaper correspondent states: the logo will grow on us....but then again so does foot fungus.

It's Nice to Feel Appreciated

2008-08-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

When is the last time you received a hand written thank you? What about a hand written thank you from a hotel restaurant??

I must admit - Old Hickory Steakhouse - you're my first. ;-)

Talk about a personalized customer appreciation initiative. My husband and I recently dined at Old Hickory in the Orlando Gaylord Palms Resort. To my surprise, the following morning the above personalized note was awaiting me underneath the door. I felt like a kid at Christmas. (Alright, that's a bit of an exaggeration - but you get the point).

Short, sweet and simple. It's the little things that keep you coming back for more.

Start Your Engines

2008-07-31T18:02:00.000-07:00

Our agency has started its engines with a progressive and "in your face" motorcycle awareness campaign. And here, our soon-to-be Hotlanta bound media director, Michelle Marts, is taking the "in your face" approach quite literally as she tests out the movie theater cut-out display.

Termed "Ride Proud. Dress Loud" this campaign urges bikers to wear more visible clothing so they don't end up blending in with the pavement. Honorable? To say the least - it's lifesaving. How often can you say that you helped save a life with only a computer, telephone and ruthless media pitch?

It's been great following along with the conversations this campaign has revved up. Read some of the articles and blogs here or here.

Needless to say, a first step in the right direction. As one journalist notes: "it's going to be a hard, uphill drive in low gear on the pot-holed dirt road of social custom and group self-image."

Welcome to the world of PR!

A Whale of a Time

2008-07-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I had the distinct pleasure of driving by one of the most divine and intriguingly bizarre front yards in Tallahassee. Dare I say....I had a whale of a time. Yes, look closely. Not just one gigantic, plastic whale spouting water while frolicking about in the grass. No my friends, an entire family of whales. Babies, daddies, mommies. Driving by this yard I practically feel like I'm in the middle of the deep blue. Who wouldn't?

Can you imagine waking up to this scene every morning? I wonder if they have names.

What's even more ironic is that my husband has a somewhat fabricated "fear" of whales. As we drove by, I had to look over just to be certain he wasn't having a heart attack. Can you see that headline? "Tallahassee resident dies while driving by whale yard. Wife quoted saying: I never thought I had to worry about his fear of whales on land."

Hats off to fake whales and the people who keep them as pets.

Going the Distance

2008-07-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

So when’s the last time you ran the distance? Swam until it burned? Rode a horse like it was your J-O-B?

Ok, ok – very unlikely that any of you have ridden a horse in that manner. Ever. Thank God.

But for those athletes kicking butt and taking names in preparation for the Summer Games in Beijing a very nifty non-profit, America for Gold, was just launched. The goal? To help fund U.S. athlete training.

Cool idea to help support those representing us all.

Has it really happened?

2008-07-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

It is true that I'm finally giving way to the 21st century? Yes. Alas, my first blog entry.

As of today, I proclaim myself no longer on the sidelines of this social media blitz. And to be fair....I must give credit where credit is due. It seems this leap into the 21st century was a result of some pushing, prodding, mean stares and harassment by fellow agency co-workers. Many thanks to them.

Where would I be without these technology-minded, twitter-friendly, face-booking, blog-ilicious gurus? Probably still using Internet Explorer.

So cheers team. I've officially crossed....the starting line. (With much help from Shekira for my blogging identity. This was of course the final piece contributing to my procrastination.)

Stay tuned as the adventures of Kelly in the 21st century unfold.